#PurityOverLust
On social media, I usually put #purityoverlust in the caption when I upload a photo of my boyfriend and I. Why? It's a reminder to myself and the world that we are to honor and please God even in our relationships. When you begin to live for God alone, you no longer live like the world. The world says it's okay to have sex with, play "house" with, and tongue down your significant other. But Romans 12:1-2 says,
Therefore I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
This means that we are to live our lives in a way that is acceptable to God, and that includes making sure we remain pure in our relationships and not get caught up in temptation. In my
, I explained some reasons as to why sex before marriage is a sin and a
HUGE
no-no. Now I want to share some tips that have definitely helped my boyfriend and I abstain from sexual activities for several months now.
Guard your heart, eyes, ears, mind.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things
(Philippians 4:8). I believe this verse was given to us because it's so easy for us to desire and act out on whatever we constantly expose ourselves to, especially when it comes to sex. Think about the songs we listen to with explicit lyrics and the things we see on TV...or on the computer screen *raises eyebrow*. They set the mood for what you're about to think about. Anyone who knows the old me knows I used to love me some Trey Songz. But Mr. Songz had to take his crooning tail home when I became saved. It wasn't just because his lyrics were anything
but
glorifying God, but also because it stirred emotions in me that led me to wanting to have sex. The same goes with certain TV shows (like
Scandal
), movies, pictures, books (put those
Zane
books down, ladies), and even those you hang around. If your friends begin talking nasty, remove yourself from the conversation.
Don't put yourself in compromising situations.
This is probably the biggest thing for my boyfriend and I. When we gave our lives back to Christ, we really had to set boundaries. These included no staying the night over each other's houses, no staying out late at night with each other, no getting all touchy-feely, no talking nasty to each other, no kissing, and even no hugging all tight and close.
No KISSING??!
Yes, for us, this is the best move because we knew we didn't want to just stop at kissing, if you know what I mean.
Trust me, you don't want to start something you know you can't finish.
I can't say I "fell" into temptation if I was nowhere near it. Don't do it to yourselves, ladies! Don't respond to that after-dark text, don't go touching all on him (you don't need to know if he has a six-pack or arms of pure muscle), etc.
Get an accountability partner.
Get someone you trust who is living completely for God, and is supporting you in abstaining from sex. Have someone check in on you and/or your relationship. Tell them if you slip up or are struggling in a particular area. You want someone that will encourage you and push you toward Christ, pray for you, and offer godly advice. I remember one night I was talking to one of my best friends on the phone and I told her my boyfriend was there. Since it was pretty late, she said, "It's late, so go ahead and tell him goodnight. Remember your standards and the promise you made God." Thank God for her! What if I didn't have her to tell me that and remind me not to be weak in my flesh? You don't want someone who is struggling with the same issue you have. Don't hold your friend, who has a "slip-up" over other week, be your accountability partner.
Be honest with God and trust Him.
Another important one for me. There are times when I've told God in the beginning, "Lord, I am seriously sexually frustrated! I am not enjoying killing this flesh of mine, and I know this is wrong and my flesh is wicked, but this is HARD. I need your help. I can't do this without you." I'd be a straight up fool if I sat here and told you that I've been celibate because of
me
. No, this is all God. My flesh is weak, but I trusted God to help me and equip me and He's done just that. Cry out and pray to God. Tell Him this is hard, and you don't want to do this. He already knows so you might as well be honest.
He wants to help you, sis.
Let Him.
Love you, sis!
Tiffany
**Feel free to email me at tgregor09@gmail.com with any questions! Here are some resources that have helped me with my purity walk:
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by Heather Lindsey
● Chase God TV YouTube: