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I'M PREGNANT! + How I Found Out

March 16, 2017

I've seriously stared at a blinking cursor for about five minutes because I have no idea how to start this post off. A) I've been gone from this place for what seems like an eternity, and B) where the heck do I even begin?!

*stares at computer for another five minutes*

If you follow me on social media, then you've known for a little over a month that WE'RE PREGNANT! As of today, I am exactly 20 weeks along (oh my heavenly, I am halfway through my pregnancy!), and I am STILL in shock that there's a sweet little baby boy growing in my belly! There are some days, I have to really sit there and be like, "wow, this is real!" And I am so excited!

While I promise that I will catch ya'll up on how this journey has been for the past 20 weeks, today I just want to share how we found out we were pregnant - and let me tell you, it definitely came as a surprise!

On November 27, 2016 - on a Sunday evening - I sent Toby to get a pregnancy test. By this time, I was between a day to four days late (depending on which app I was using) and wanted to take one just to see if I needed to pack feminine products in my purse and rock loose tops and dresses for the next week (ladies, you know what I'm talking about!) since I'd been feeling like my period was going to start at any moment. So much so that when Toby arrived back home with the test, I mentioned that I regretted sending him out to waste money when I'd know that I was not pregnant in probably about a few hours.

In the bathroom, I peed on the stick, all the while telling Toby that I knew for a fact I wasn't pregnant, but at least this test would help put my mind at ease about having that margarita at lunch earlier that day! Then, and I kid you not, as I was putting the cap on the stick I immediately saw a blue cross on the test! Here's how that exact scene went down:

Me: *putting the cap on the test and yelling from the bathroom* Yeah, I know for a fact I'm not pregnant, but at least I --HOLY --

Toby: *running into the bathroom* what, what, WHAT?!

Me: *thrusting the test in his face* ...

Toby: what does this mean? I don't know how to read these things!

At that point I found my voice again, told him that it looked like it was a positive, and kept repeating how this wasn't real and that I was in a dream. And OHMYGOSH, I HAD ALCOHOL EARLIER TODAY! Then, in a mere two seconds, I convinced myself that it was a fluke because I had heard that pregnancy tests with the blue dye could give false positives. So I sent Toby out to get a more reliable test - a First Response Pregnancy Test. While he was gone, I was freaking out ya'll. I couldn't let myself get excited because I was so afraid that the test was a fluke. I just remember praying and asking the Lord to let me be pregnant and to let this be real.

When Toby came back with the test (and he emphasized that he got the box with TWO tests in there), I immediately ran to the bathroom. And just like the first time, I barely put the cap on the test before I saw two bold pink lines. Pregnant! All I could do was cry and sit there in disbelief. Poor Toby looked like he didn't know what to do or think!

If this is starting to sound like we weren't excited when we found out, that was not the case. We were ecstatic, but shocked and in disbelief. I was 99% sure I wasn't pregnant (hence why I thought I was fine having that glass of margarita). In all vulnerability, November was not a good month for Toby and me. We were pretty much mad at each other that whole month, and only "had fun time" once. Not only that, but I had just started a new job at the beginning of the month. We didn't even try that month for a baby. On the other months we tried, we really TRIED. So the fact that this baby was conceived when we only did it once shows that this was all the Lord's doing. WE didn't make this happen; HE made it happen. I am still sitting here in awe at how good the Lord is and how perfect His timing is! The Lord provided us with our little rainbow baby a little over a year after I found out I was pregnant the first time around!

Now that I am in my second trimester, I would love for ya'll to join me on this journey. My plan is to talk more about my pregnancy and update everyone on YouTube so that this blog doesn't just turn into a baby journal. I plan on recording that video Saturday and posting it next week (follow my Instagram so you'll know when I post, as well as have the link), so if you have any questions you'd like answered about my pregnancy, feel free to comment below!

I also want to thank every single person that has read this blog, prayed for me, prayed with me, walked this journey with me, and celebrated this amazing moment with me. I am truly so grateful that the Lord has placed so many amazing people in my life! Seriously, thank you!

Day 17 - It Is Well

October 17, 2016
Y'all. How did I forget to write yesterday?!  I didn't even realize it until this morning. After church yesterday, I was exhausted! It was my turn to help in the children's ministry, and my class is the kindergarteners, so you can believe I took two full naps as soon as I got home. It seemed like I just couldn't get myself to fully wake up, so I had a nice little dinner and fell back asleep around 9 p.m.

But, we shall just keep truckin' along! 

Tonight I want to switch it up and share a song that has pretty much gotten me through seasons of life since I've discovered it last year. When I was experiencing the miscarriage last year, there were some days where all I could do was play this song (and the original It Is Well with My Soul hymn) in my head over and over. I pray this song encourages you to remember that despite where you are, in a good season, in a seemingly bad season, in a season you just can't define, when you cling to Christ, the Prince of Peace, it is well.

Day 15 - Moments

October 15, 2016
This morning Toby and I attended our small group and we had really great conversations as we discussed Ephesians 2:11-3:13. Later on this evening, we had a couple over for tacos and burritos and it was a good time to know more about and encourage one another. Toby and I ended this night right before we hopped into bed by watching a few epeisodes of Friends. When I look back at this season, this is what I want to remember. How God was so good in providing fellowship and community. How  He knew that would be encouraging to my soul. Dispute what chaos may try to distract me, I choose to still take pleasure in the little nuggets of goodness God gives me throughout the day. He truly is a good, good Father.

Day 14 - I Got Nothing

October 14, 2016
Guys, it's been a struggle; not just in writing the post for today, but in my Whole30 Challenge as well. Maybe I just hit a metaphorical brick hall today with both challenges. My body sure does feel like I hit an actual physical brick wall today (I tried a new workout this week). So I'm going to call it an early Friday night, and talk to y'all tomorrow! Night!

Day 13 - Enjoy Life

October 13, 2016
Here's permission to go out and enjoy where you are right now. Single and waiting for that spouse? Pamper yourself tonight! Then, jump in your bed, spread out, and enjoy that you got all of that room to yourself! Married and without children? Go out on a spontaneous date! Got kids? Camp out in the living room with pizza and all the good snacks! In an apartment? Walk around your complex. In a house? Walk around your neighborhood. Do what you enjoy in the moment of where you are right now.